STAR LOG 27, DAYTIME:
The eagle has landed! In the raddest of rad #postmodern condos in all of Austin. Inside of its digidecked walls, we found the lifeless bodies of Dan Brawley and Aaron Hillis and Joel Fernando. But we saved them by dumping them inside of the most rad shower ever where they came back to life in a big ooze of man. Oh yeah, later that night, Ryan Jaccard and Ash McGuire saw EVIL DEAD. Ash proposed to Bruce Campbell. His chin declined. Then the crew moseyed on over to the opening night party –we touched cowboy hats with Geoff Marslett, Adam Donaghey, Tom Xia, & Spencer Parsons. After a few rambunctious cocktails—tragedy struck! Only Ash survived. Luckily, she used her Necronomicon to bring everyone back to life. It also magically produced a girl named Faiza.
LADY BIRD LAKE, EXTRASPECIAL 2LOCO:
Bryan Poyser’s THE BOUNCEBACK inspired us to hold air-sex competitions at City Stage this November. Get your thrusts ready, party people! We then feasted our eyeballs on Emile Hirsch’s sweatpants. Joe Swanberg’s DRINKING BUDDIES was next on the roster. Someone bought the film for seven trillion dollars! Congratulations, Joe! Your movie was funny and had a lot of beer in it. So you got that going for you and of course now your rich. Last on our list that day was the world premiere of probably-not-rich but really cool Geoff Marslett’s LOVES HER GUN. Starring the exquisite Trieste Kelly Dunn (& Jennymarie’s boobs, yeah!), this was a smoldering commentary on the raging arguments around guns, straight from the heart of Texas!
DRAFTHOUSE, TIME BUBBLE 3:
The first movie of day THREE was SHORT TERM 12 at the Alamo Drafthouse RITZ! Holycheddar they serve migas tacos and bloody drinks! Coolest cinema club inductee #2. Oh yeah, but the movie — Directed by Cucalorus alum, Destin Cretton, this beautifully touching film stole all of our hearts. We collectively proposed to Brie Larson (the jawbreaking lead actress) and made plans to kidnap her to our hot tub kingdom (click on your best friends right knee twice after dinner next Thursday to find out how to get to our hot tub kingdom). Dan & Ash then slid over to the Stateside Theater on Congress to catch WILLIAM & THE WINDMILL, Ben Nabors’ enchanting documentary about a boy from Malawi who teaches himself how to build an electricity-producing windmill.
Dan & Ryan attended the world premier of XMAS WITHOUT CHINA (works-in-progress, Cucalorus 2012). Ash went to see HOLY GHOST PEOPLE, which was UPM’d by the dumpster moving god of Texas, Adam Donaghey. Then… parties! Wine, tesqueela, Saki with Mr. Miyagi, and diving headfirst because we don’t care! Bye. Who? Knows!
FOUR TACOS TEASING:
Dan & Ash learned how to make vagina puppets, thanks to a panel led by Borscht Film Festival’s Jillian Mayer and Lucas Leyva. The whole crew converged for COMPUTER CHESS where we got lost on the motherboard of an ICnr 81437? According to official records, we lost about seven hours of human time, but Stephen Hawking assures us that our universe is still expanding, so we storm Cheer Up Charlie’s for a drunk santa festival featuring the slobbering skills of Aaron Hillis, Adam Donaghey & Robert Longstreet. #santasdrunk. Don’t ask us. Experience it for yourself.
OVER THE LAKE, SOCO FIVER:
We ventured out for a little mid-afternoon graphic nudity in the form of the extremely beautiful documentary FUCK FOR FOREST—- about a group who raise money to save trees by making porn. The sheer naïve fervor with which these people believe in what they are doing was delicious and inspiring. We then fell into the transcendental cinematic experience that is Shane Caruth’s UPSTREAM COLOR. Some of us never made it out.
The closing night film party was at Stage on 6th – like a little theme park for rednecks. We felt right at home! Good drinks, good people, good corn hole. We couldn’t let the party end, which translated into an after-party at rad #postmodern. BEWARE! Cucalorus is a wallet-losing vortex, a theory sciensexually tested by two beautiful actresses, Trieste Kelly Dunn & Melodie Sisk. (We get all the ladies, y’all!)
EYEBALLS IN HEAVEN, WE LOVE TEXAS:
Moooovies, movies, movies. THE NETWORK, TINY, ZAYIAT, A YEAR IN THE LIFE OF WAYNE’S PHONE. Wow! Weird and wonderful and some not so good. We kept watching movies even though our eyeballs were now bleeding and our wallets were like little black holes. But hey, Ke$ha looks fun to party with!
IS IT OVER YET? WHERE IS MY PANT:
Ryan and Ash went to see PUSSY RIOT: A PUNK PRAYER to get a little estrogen fix. Dan & Ash then went to see IMAGINE – a visually striking little gem – a drama about a visionary teacher at a school for the blind and a fitting bookend to our eye blasting SXSaywhat inoculation.